Today’s enneathought, from the Enneagram Institute.
This one is fairly poignant. My husband invited me to go on a business trip with him to Vegas. I was trying to decide whether or not I wanted to go. On the one hand, I always miss him when he’s gone and it might be good to get away for a week. On the other hand, the last time I went to Vegas, it kind of drove me nuts and since he was going there for work, there would be a considerable amount of obligatory dinners and parties.
Then, we realized that we would only get back three days before we needed to head to Pittsburgh to visit my family. I had to miss my half-sister’s wedding back in June, which was a disappointment to my sister-in-law (not my half-sister, but rather my brother’s wife) so I promised to come visit. Additionally, the last time I saw my dad was 2007 and he’s getting old and going blind. I really wanted the chance to see him as well. If I had to endure the insanity of Vegas for six days and then only have three days to decompress, there’s no way I’d be up for the Pittsburgh trip. Rescheduling Pittsburgh wasn’t an option, either, since the tickets were already bought and since I’d be starting the MFA program in just over a week after my planned return. If I pushed it to the following weekend, that would mean being gone the entire weekend and then starting a new grad program the next day, which would just be way too exhausting. I’d need the time to mentally prepare myself.
So, I decided not to accompany my husband to Vegas. He has a lot more stamina than I do for this sort of thing. He’s a 7w8 and an ENTP, and so six days networking in Vegas, three days at home and another four driving all over Western Pennsylvania with his family isn’t a huge deal for him.
On the one hand, I know that it’s true that the more I try to conserve my energy and not be depleted, the more easily I’m depleted. My introversion has a way of building upon itself so the extent to which I can handle interacting with others shrinks. On the other hand, that sense of depletion is always there, I’ve always needed more alone time than others, even when I was at my most “out in the world.” So, it’s not the case that I simply need to give up feeling that way. If I didn’t experience the depletion, I wouldn’t feel the need to conserve those resources.
The trickiest part for me is to do it without stressing to Seven, because that’s what happens the most when I force myself. Things go too fast for me and then I get scattered and start to lose focus and then everything gets kind of wonky.